May This Type of Love Never Find Me:
Love is one of the most beautiful things we long for as human beings. We crave it, we chase it, we write about it in books, sing about it in songs, and pray for it in quiet moments. But not all love is worth finding. Some kinds of love should never cross our path, and when they do, they leave us whispering to ourselves: May this type of love never find me again.
The Love That Consumes But Never Fulfils
Around the world, there are stories of people who gave everything for love only to find themselves empty. The woman who leaves her dreams behind because he said her place was only beside him. The man who bends himself until he breaks, trying to win the affection of someone who has never seen him.
This is the type of love that burns hot but never warms you. It consumes your energy, your confidence, and your identity until you barely recognise yourself.
May this type of love never find me.
The Love That Wounds Instead of Heals
Some call it passion; others call it obsession. But we all know what it feels like when love is laced with control, jealousy, or fear.
In Nigeria, we hear stories of marriages where silence is taught as survival. In the West, many quietly endure toxic relationships under the mask of “staying together for love.” In Asia, duty sometimes outweighs happiness, leaving hearts caged by tradition.
Different cultures, same ache. A love that wounds instead of heals is not love—it is captivity.
May this type of love never find me.
The Love That Demands Your Disappearance
There is also the love that asks you to shrink. To dim your light so the other person can shine brighter. To soften your voice until you can barely hear yourself. To disappear in the name of “compromise.”
But true love should not erase you; it should make you more yourself.
May this type of love never find me.
The Illusion of Love That Looks Like Love But Isn’t
Sometimes, what we call love is only a shadow of it. The curated perfection of Instagram relationships. The fairytales that end the moment the cameras stop rolling. The promises that never move beyond words.
All around the world, we’ve seen illusions dressed up as love, grand gestures, expensive gifts, beautiful weddings, yet behind the curtains, emptiness lingers.
May this type of love never find me.
What We Pray For Instead
Not all love is dangerous. There is a love that builds instead of breaks, that heals instead of wounds, that allows you to stand tall instead of disappearing.
This is the love that hugs you in your silence, celebrates you in your growth, and reminds you that you are safe to be fully yourself.
That is the kind of love I pray to meet and hold. But until then, I keep whispering, for myself and for everyone reading this:
May this type of love that consumes, wounds, and diminishes never find me.
If you made it to the end of this post, leave me a comment or like this post. Also, do check out my previous post on ‘Finding Pockets of Joy in the Unending Journey of Grief’ here and check out the latest episode from my podcast here.
