Love lessons: Evaluating your relationships

Love, with its myriad of complexities and joys, is a journey we all embark on at some point in our lives., something we all hope to experience particularly the romantic kind.

On this journey, we encounter different people, experiences, and lessons that shape our understanding of what it means to love and be loved. As we navigate the twists and turns of our love lives, it’s crucial to take time to reflect on our past relationships and glean insights that can guide us towards healthier, more fulfilling connections in the future.

Looking back on past relationships can be an illuminating exercise, allowing us to uncover patterns, identify red flags, and understand our own needs and desires more deeply. By examining the people we’ve been attracted to, their availability or unavailability towards us, and the factors we considered or ignored in our relationships, we can gain valuable insights that inform our approach to love moving forward.

  1. People You’ve Been Attracted To: Reflecting on the type of individuals we’ve been drawn to can reveal a lot about our values, preferences, and insecurities. Have you noticed any patterns in the type of people you’ve been attracted to? Perhaps you’ve been drawn to charismatic personalities, or maybe you’ve consistently been attracted to individuals who share similar interests or values. Take a look at these patterns, examine them, learn from what has been revealed and consider what they say about your desires and priorities in a partner.
  2. Their Availability Towards You: One of the most important aspects to evaluate in past relationships is the availability or unavailability of your partners. Were they able to meet your emotional needs and commitments, or were they consistently unavailable or unwilling to fully invest in the relationship? Recognizing and coming to terms with the role that availability plays in a healthy relationship can help you set boundaries and expectations for future connections. It can also help you recognise emotionally unavailable people.
  3. The Things You Considered or Ignored: In every relationship, there are certain factors that we consciously or unconsciously consider, as well as others that we may overlook or ignore. We sometimes consider these things as not being important, so we ignore them. Reflect on the things that you prioritized in past relationships, whether it be shared values, physical attraction, or emotional compatibility. Similarly, think about any warning signs or red flags that you may have dismissed or minimized.
  4. Evaluating and Moving Forward: The next thing to do after evaluating is to see how these lessons drawn can help you make better choices going forward. It’s also time to ask yourself critical questions like, are there any patterns or behaviours that I would like to change or avoid in future relationships? What are the qualities and values that I am looking for in a partner, and how can I actively seek out connections that align with my needs and desires?

In conclusion, reflecting on past relationships is an invaluable tool for personal growth and self-discovery. By examining the people we’ve been attracted to, their availability towards us, and the factors we considered or ignored, we can gain valuable insights that shape our approach to love and relationships. So take the time to look back, learn from your experiences, and use that knowledge to create a brighter, more fulfilling future in love.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you & yours.

If you made it to the end of this post, leave me a comment or like this post. Also, do check out my previous post on ‘2 Kobo from my diary here and do check out the latest episode from my podcast here.

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Yinka's Muse
Yinka's Muse
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