What does losing a mum feel like?

What does losing a mum feel like? It feels like nothingness and even when I try to find the words I always come with nothing.

In the past, every time I have been in conversations where people discussed losing a parent and how it felt to either lose a mum or a dad and in each of those times I try to imagine a world where I’m living without my parents, especially my mum and I would always tremble because I couldn’t fathom it.

What does losing a mum feel like? It’s like a broken compass whose sense of direction is lost. It’s like standing in a storm, feeling the wind knocked out of you as if the ground beneath your feet has vanished.

It’s an ache that never quite leaves, a missing piece in the puzzle of life, a constant longing for the warmth of her embrace, and the sound of her voice offering guidance and love.

The day I received the news about my mum’s passing was also the day I was defending my master’s thesis, I felt disoriented, I had cried so much and my eyes were so swollen and the teacher in charge couldn’t even be bothered to ask if I was okay.

What does losing a mum feel like? It feels like one’s life is coming to an abrupt end. It’s like you’ve been moving and living at a particular speed through life and then out of the blue your life suddenly stops almost causing a collision with whatever is in front of you.

I miss our conversations and our banter. My mum was life and a soothing anchor reminding me to stay the course, so when she passed one question I kept asking myself so what’s the point of it all?

What does losing a mum feel like? It’s like an empty building where when you speak you hear yourself and it echoes back to you because of its emptiness. It’s like a void that can never be filled.

My mum was a buffer, my mum was home, laying my eyes on her or just knowing she was home brought peace, she was light and silent & loud laughter. She taught me the importance of being seen and heard.

What does losing a mum feel like? I would never be able to find the words. A lot of people say your mum would want you to move on, your mum would want you to be happy and even though that’s true, what hurts the most is that we can’t share those times together again.

So what does losing a mum feel like? It feels like a life where you’re only present in each other lives for a moment.

Grieving has been teaching me a lot of things, it’s like I now have a better perspective and understanding. So, I genuinely drop or forget everything trying to cause major attacks on me because what’s the point anyway, we’re all going to die.

What does losing a mum feel like? You’re forever changed because this loss leaves an indelible imprint on our hearts. It’s an unending journey of navigating between the swell of grief and being okay.

It is finding solace in cherished memories, and carrying her love forward in our own lives. While the pain may soften with time, the love and impact of my mum stays forever, shaping who I am and who I aspire to be.

Loss does so many things to you, starting from rocking your very existence. So, as I grieve, one thing is sure I’m forever changed and even though finding a way back to who I once was might never be achievable…. I still tremble at the reality of living in a world without my mum.

If you made it to the end of this post, don’t forget to leave me a comment or share your perspective with me on dealing with loss, and do check out the episode from my podcast with my mum here.

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Yinka's Muse
Yinka's Muse
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6 months ago

Your words paint a poignant picture of loss, revealing the depth of love and the profound impact your mum had on your life. Your vulnerability and honesty in expressing this pain show the rawness of grief and the unwavering bond you shared. It’s evident that her presence was not just a part of your life but the essence that shaped your being. May the cherished memories of her continue to bring comfort, guiding you forward, carrying her love within you. Your resilience in navigating this uncharted territory is a testament to the strength born from love, and it’s truly inspiring. I’m available

6 months ago

Sis, It’s definitely is a void that can never be filled, I pray God continue to give you strength to bear this great loss. Sending you love and light 💡 ❤️

6 months ago

I am glad you have finally found the words, I can’t seem to find mine yet but I’ve buried my head in activity hopefully the words will come flowing.
Reading your words is soothing because I know the depth of every word but we are here, all three of us, for now that’s comforting. I will cherish the warmth of that thought, of your voices, your laughter and makes everything count cause all we both have is now. I trust the next minute to its giver and I promise to cherish every waking moment and make it count because I know she will want me to value it.

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