On this cool Friday afternoon, I’d love to ask a question I’ve been pondering on after the conversation I had with my friend: Do you kiss or hug your friends?
My friends generally are a mix of touchy, physical affections, hugs and the no kind of body contact people. What about you? I could be a touchy kind of person depending on my level of friendship with you and how close we are.
Locking arms with your friend and chatting heartily, head and shoulder rubs, playing with each other are other ways people show affection towards others and people they’re comfortable with.
Affection can be person-specific, too. My friend Dorcas isn’t physically demonstrative with her friends and loved ones, she wouldn’t even holds hands with her boo or subscribe to any form of PDA but you will be able to tell in her actions or when she’s talking to you indoors.
Of course, friendships — and their norms — can change through different life stages and that can also dictate how affectionate you can show to the person.
When you’re not getting as much physical affection, has your body ever noticed it?
There have been times when I have craved the desire to have a meaningful conversation or banter with someone close and times when I needed a hug when I felt lonely and sad.“
Does a handshake count? A one-armed hug?
Not touching or not been affectionate is a cultural thing.
I grew up in Nigeria and still live there and didn’t grow hugging or kissing anyone not even my parents or siblings and relatives. But the culture here has gradually changed over the years, parents, siblings and friends are now finding new ways to be affectionate towards each other.
A lot of people in this part of the world will tell you that it stills feel strange to be affectionate towards particularly from parents to children and while the culture may be gradually changing, it might take a while before we get to the point where we are comfortable enough with each other to be affectionate no matter where we are.
So, I’m curious: How often do you touch your friends? Has it changed? Do you wish you had more? Less? Please weigh in, I’d love to hear…
PS: – Check out my latest post on crying in public here .
I’m not fond of too much touch, but I always try to hug goodbye. Touch can be very soothing in the right amounts.
I agree that touch can be soothing in the right amounts. Thank you for stopping by.
I hug and kiss my friends. On the cheek obviously. Living here changed my perception about so many things. I don’t shake my friends. To me that’s not friendship. In Italy we cheek kiss even acquaintances.
But no touching for me. I don’t like that.
When I was younger, my friends and I use to hold hands.
One thing writing this piece has brought to my attention is our fascinating a lot of cultures see the need for physical touch in friendships without thinking that it can become much more compared to the culture here in Nigeria. Thank you for sharing Dear.