According to wikipedia, friend zone is defined as a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not.
It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation for the rejected person.
In one of my podcast episode I talk about having to friend zone a friend even though at the time I didn’t know it was called that term at the time, we were very good friends and then he happened to start catching feelings.
The thing with friend zones is that we usually start out as just being friends and for a long time it can remain like that until an external force is acts upon it and then the situation changes.
In most cases, you might even know that your friend is having romantic feelings for you and then you will try doing everything in your power to dissuade the feelings but most times those actions are never communicated.
When the said party start having feelings, He/She start thinking of ways to let his feelings known and that is after several attempts to hiding it or ignoring it. In most cases, in a group of friends it is only the person that is being liked that is never aware that someone is falling for them
But we all know that romantic love can sometimes be daunting especially if you’re trying to make the switch from friendship, transitioning successfully from the friend zone category to the relationship and then honeymoon phase.
So here are a couple of things you need to know about the “friend zone” — why it happens, what to do with it, and how to cope.
1. Being Friends is different from being “friend zone.”
The “friend zone” happens when two or more people are friends, and then one person begins to like one member of the team and then begins to want more and in most cases the other doesn’t or is practically unaware. This can naturally lead to disappointment or frustration on both sides, and the mismatch of feelings occurs for people of all genders.
Take the case of Samson and I listen HERE were we where very good friends, did practically everything together and then he started catching feelings and because he took him a while to make is intentions known I was oblivious to that fact and he was somehow getting pissed that I couldn’t see all the signs that he liked me more than just being friends. Eventually, when he did make is interest know, I was able to let him know that I didn’t feel that way and we were able to move on as being friends for the time being.
In some other cases, if your friend feels the same way you both can then go ahead to have an awesome relationship but in a situation were the other party does not feel the same way you guys can then have a conversation to make sure your friendship is not affected giving room for mutual respect and honesty.
The zone is not a place where you move into and then now begin to resent the other person, it’s a place where you both have finally decided either of these reasons, that one of you don’t feel the same way for the other person or that I would rather not say and just let us remain friends and then you guys go support yourselves by placing healthy boundaries for the friendship as a whole without the friendship self-destructing.
2. Speak up about how you feel, and be honest.
Speak up and Speak out by having these conversations it frees you from the burden of having them rot inside of you.
Here’s how it works.
- If you know you’re not into someone romantically, say so.
- If you feel like you want more than friendship, say so.
And of course we know that having these conversations are not in anyway easy but telling the truth about how you feel and where your heart is is the very best thing you can do for yourself.
3. Don’t Settle for Less.
Pay attention to what you deserve and then go after it unashamedly. Everyone deserves love.
Don’t settle for someone you feel is beneath you neither should you put your life on hold for anyone who isn’t sure about you.
4. Move on.
To me Instead of stressing about the friend zone, how you got there and how long you will be there, the best thing to do is to move on. The truth is love can be fickle sometimes, and relationships come and goes, you only need to trust the universe that what is coming is better than what is gone.